Spolitics.com
Complete 2004 election coverage.
Complete 2004 election coverage.
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Kerry Attacks BoSox Manager,
Says Players Are Over-Extended
Senator Kerry lashed out against the coach of
the Red Sox after his team's historic comeback,
claiming they won at too great a cost and now
the players over-extended. Kerry assures
voters, if he were the manager of the Red Sox,
he would have made better decisions. He also
warns that a draft is likely next year. MORE
Kerry Accuses Americans of Not
Following One of the "Two Greatest
Commandments"
In the final weeks of the Presidential
campaign, Senator Kerry has been taking
pains to portray himself as a religious person,
including quoting scripture. But some feel the
Democrat stepped over the line in the last
debate when he insinuated that Americans
were not following one of the “two greatest
Commandments.” MORE
Another Shake-up at Camp Kerry:
Hamster to Replace Green Beret
In a move the Kerry camp
hopes will help the candidate
appeal to soccer moms, Jim
Rassman, the Green Beret
whose life Kerry saved in
Vietnam will be replaced on
the campaign trail by Patches,
the hamster Kerry saved. MORE
Top Dems Give Kerry Debate Advice At
Secret Strategy Session
Top Democrats gathered to give John Kerry
advice for Thursday night's debate, including
Al Gore who, referring to his cringe-inducing
episode in one of the 2000 presidential
debates, said to Kerry, "Don't cross the stage
and stare him down like I did unless you’re
willing to throw a punch.”
MORE
Kerry Campaign Adopts New Slogan,
"John Kerry: Fair and Balanced"
With the debates four days away, the Kerry
Campaign has changed their slogan to "John
Kerry: Fair and Balanced," hoping the
Democratic challenger can overcome the flip-
flopper label by arguing he's the only
candidate with enough integrity to give equal
time to both sides of the issues. MORE
Kerry Criticizes Putin of Undoing
Democracy in Russia
Senator Kerry finally took a side on the debate
about Russian President Vladimir Putin's
government reforms. Ralph Nader has been
too busy fighting lawsuits to weigh in. MORE
Kerry Revamps His Attacks on Bush
In his sharpest attack yet, Senator Kerry
lambasted the President not only for having
the initial "W" which stands for "wrong," but
also a "G" which he says stands for
"gravely." MORE
Click HERE for the 2004 Election Spews
Bites Archive
Says Players Are Over-Extended
Senator Kerry lashed out against the coach of
the Red Sox after his team's historic comeback,
claiming they won at too great a cost and now
the players over-extended. Kerry assures
voters, if he were the manager of the Red Sox,
he would have made better decisions. He also
warns that a draft is likely next year. MORE
Kerry Accuses Americans of Not
Following One of the "Two Greatest
Commandments"
In the final weeks of the Presidential
campaign, Senator Kerry has been taking
pains to portray himself as a religious person,
including quoting scripture. But some feel the
Democrat stepped over the line in the last
debate when he insinuated that Americans
were not following one of the “two greatest
Commandments.” MORE
Another Shake-up at Camp Kerry:
Hamster to Replace Green Beret
In a move the Kerry camp
hopes will help the candidate
appeal to soccer moms, Jim
Rassman, the Green Beret
whose life Kerry saved in
Vietnam will be replaced on
the campaign trail by Patches,
the hamster Kerry saved. MORE
Top Dems Give Kerry Debate Advice At
Secret Strategy Session
Top Democrats gathered to give John Kerry
advice for Thursday night's debate, including
Al Gore who, referring to his cringe-inducing
episode in one of the 2000 presidential
debates, said to Kerry, "Don't cross the stage
and stare him down like I did unless you’re
willing to throw a punch.”
MORE
Kerry Campaign Adopts New Slogan,
"John Kerry: Fair and Balanced"
With the debates four days away, the Kerry
Campaign has changed their slogan to "John
Kerry: Fair and Balanced," hoping the
Democratic challenger can overcome the flip-
flopper label by arguing he's the only
candidate with enough integrity to give equal
time to both sides of the issues. MORE
Kerry Criticizes Putin of Undoing
Democracy in Russia
Senator Kerry finally took a side on the debate
about Russian President Vladimir Putin's
government reforms. Ralph Nader has been
too busy fighting lawsuits to weigh in. MORE
Kerry Revamps His Attacks on Bush
In his sharpest attack yet, Senator Kerry
lambasted the President not only for having
the initial "W" which stands for "wrong," but
also a "G" which he says stands for
"gravely." MORE
Click HERE for the 2004 Election Spews
Bites Archive
Dan Rather is Still Not Ready to Call
Ohio for President Bush
The election returns are still "closer than
kissing cousins on a camping trip" said the
revered CBS News anchor who is still
unwilling to call Ohio for President Bush
until all the votes have been counted. MORE
How George Bush Stole the 2000
Election
Many years ago two men wanted to be
President of the United States of America.
Their names were George Bush and Al
Gore. MORE
Spolitics Endorses John Kerry for
President
It’s at times like these when America is
challenged by extremists bent on eradicating
freedom from the face of the Earth that we
need to take stock of what is important.
What's important to Spolitics is electing a
comedy-rich target. That is why we are
endorsing John Kerry for President. MORE
Kerry-Edwards Rhetoric Decoder
Bursts into Flames after Friday
Night's Debate
Friday night turned out to be a rough slog
for Spolitics’ KERFU machine as Senator
Kerry proved even more enigmatic than
usual. Even though the KERFU was down
for a day and a half after it burst into flames
trying to decipher Kerry's foreign policy,
Spolitics was able to wrangle a little meaning
out of Kerry’s rhetoric. MORE
Spolitics Develops the Kerry-Edwards
Rhetoric Decoder
Those who have watched the past two
debates might find it difficult to understand
where senators Kerry and Edwards stand on
today's most important issues. So Spolitics
has hired the world's most brilliant linguistic
mathematicians to construct a decoding
paradigm that -- after inserting Kerry-
Edwards rhetoric – produces a simplified
construct from which it is possible to
determine what the candidates believe in.
We call it the KERFU: Kerry Edwards
Rhetoric Formula for Understanding, or KE(r)
/T=BS.
Read five examples of decoded rhetoric.
Air America Listener Sues Network
A man is suing the liberal talk radio network
Air America, accusing them of causing him
to fall asleep at the wheel and totalling his
car. MORE
Saddam Hussein Will Call Michael
Moore to Testify On His Behalf
According to attorneys for the ousted
dictator, Saddam Hussein intends to call
Michael Moore to testify that George Bush
is the real criminal. MORE
Dan Rather and DNC in Cahoots on
Guard Memos, Letter Shows
A letter obtained by Spolitics suggests an
alliance between Dan Rather and the DNC's
Terry McAuliffe aimed at smearing Bush
with guard memos. MORE
Ohio for President Bush
The election returns are still "closer than
kissing cousins on a camping trip" said the
revered CBS News anchor who is still
unwilling to call Ohio for President Bush
until all the votes have been counted. MORE
How George Bush Stole the 2000
Election
Many years ago two men wanted to be
President of the United States of America.
Their names were George Bush and Al
Gore. MORE
Spolitics Endorses John Kerry for
President
It’s at times like these when America is
challenged by extremists bent on eradicating
freedom from the face of the Earth that we
need to take stock of what is important.
What's important to Spolitics is electing a
comedy-rich target. That is why we are
endorsing John Kerry for President. MORE
Kerry-Edwards Rhetoric Decoder
Bursts into Flames after Friday
Night's Debate
Friday night turned out to be a rough slog
for Spolitics’ KERFU machine as Senator
Kerry proved even more enigmatic than
usual. Even though the KERFU was down
for a day and a half after it burst into flames
trying to decipher Kerry's foreign policy,
Spolitics was able to wrangle a little meaning
out of Kerry’s rhetoric. MORE
Spolitics Develops the Kerry-Edwards
Rhetoric Decoder
Those who have watched the past two
debates might find it difficult to understand
where senators Kerry and Edwards stand on
today's most important issues. So Spolitics
has hired the world's most brilliant linguistic
mathematicians to construct a decoding
paradigm that -- after inserting Kerry-
Edwards rhetoric – produces a simplified
construct from which it is possible to
determine what the candidates believe in.
We call it the KERFU: Kerry Edwards
Rhetoric Formula for Understanding, or KE(r)
/T=BS.
Read five examples of decoded rhetoric.
Air America Listener Sues Network
A man is suing the liberal talk radio network
Air America, accusing them of causing him
to fall asleep at the wheel and totalling his
car. MORE
Saddam Hussein Will Call Michael
Moore to Testify On His Behalf
According to attorneys for the ousted
dictator, Saddam Hussein intends to call
Michael Moore to testify that George Bush
is the real criminal. MORE
Dan Rather and DNC in Cahoots on
Guard Memos, Letter Shows
A letter obtained by Spolitics suggests an
alliance between Dan Rather and the DNC's
Terry McAuliffe aimed at smearing Bush
with guard memos. MORE
| The stories on Spolitics.com are made up for entertainment purposes. Spolitics maintains that nothing on this site is accurate. Anything that happens to be accurate is purely accidental, coincidental or both and Spolitics will fire the writer responsible. Copyright © 2004 Spolitics.com. All Rights Reserved. |
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