Kerry Attacks BoSox Manager, Says Players
Are Over-Extended
By Weston Easton
Senator Kerry was asked about the Red Sox’s historic comeback
against the Yankees in the ALCS and launched into an attack on
manager Terry Francona.
“As a young man,” said Kerry, “the jungles of Vietnam taught me
a thing or two about baseball. And one of them is when a team is
coming at you, you have to turn your bats square at them and
charge! The truth is the coaching in this series was grossly
incompetent,” said Kerry to a crowd in Jacksonville Florida who
had gathered to hear his plan for winning the war in Iraq.
Kerry, who perhaps was trying to undo the “out of touch”
perception he created when he said the Green Bay Packers played
at “Lambert Field,” attempted to demonstrate his baseball
knowledge while also trying to cut into President Bush’s strong
support from baseball dads.
“Sure, we won this series, but at what cost?” asked Kerry. “Our
players are over-extended and they’re tired. Because this coach
failed to reach out to other teams, our boys went into these games
alone. Things are so bad, don't be surprised if next year this team
is going to have to resort to a draft to get more players,” said
Kerry. “As coach of the Red Sox, I would have made better
decisions.”
Kerry pointed to “one pitcher’s” bleeding ankle as proof that the
team doesn’t have medical insurance, and said if he was manager,
he would have made sure the players got the best in medical care.
Kerry also pointed out the fact that sometimes the Red Sox batters
missed pitches and said it was proof that they were sent into the
game without the proper equipment. “I would have made sure
they had the biggest, strongest and fastest bats available, said
Kerry.”
“But the real problem is that this coach took too long to win the
games. He let the Yankees get too many hits and score too many
runs. Our players had the Yankees cornered and this manager let
them get away. If I were the manager of the Red Sox, we would
have won the games much sooner and we would have won them
better too. It’s not that I would have done one thing different. I
would have done almost everything different.”
Are Over-Extended
By Weston Easton
Senator Kerry was asked about the Red Sox’s historic comeback
against the Yankees in the ALCS and launched into an attack on
manager Terry Francona.
“As a young man,” said Kerry, “the jungles of Vietnam taught me
a thing or two about baseball. And one of them is when a team is
coming at you, you have to turn your bats square at them and
charge! The truth is the coaching in this series was grossly
incompetent,” said Kerry to a crowd in Jacksonville Florida who
had gathered to hear his plan for winning the war in Iraq.
Kerry, who perhaps was trying to undo the “out of touch”
perception he created when he said the Green Bay Packers played
at “Lambert Field,” attempted to demonstrate his baseball
knowledge while also trying to cut into President Bush’s strong
support from baseball dads.
“Sure, we won this series, but at what cost?” asked Kerry. “Our
players are over-extended and they’re tired. Because this coach
failed to reach out to other teams, our boys went into these games
alone. Things are so bad, don't be surprised if next year this team
is going to have to resort to a draft to get more players,” said
Kerry. “As coach of the Red Sox, I would have made better
decisions.”
Kerry pointed to “one pitcher’s” bleeding ankle as proof that the
team doesn’t have medical insurance, and said if he was manager,
he would have made sure the players got the best in medical care.
Kerry also pointed out the fact that sometimes the Red Sox batters
missed pitches and said it was proof that they were sent into the
game without the proper equipment. “I would have made sure
they had the biggest, strongest and fastest bats available, said
Kerry.”
“But the real problem is that this coach took too long to win the
games. He let the Yankees get too many hits and score too many
runs. Our players had the Yankees cornered and this manager let
them get away. If I were the manager of the Red Sox, we would
have won the games much sooner and we would have won them
better too. It’s not that I would have done one thing different. I
would have done almost everything different.”
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