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Clinton Wins 87% of the Deceased Vote
By William Satire
NEVADA - While most of the recent attention in the race for the
Democratic presidential nomination has focused on racial divisions, with
Senator Obama earning the black vote and Clinton capturing the Latino
vote, another key demographic has gone largely unnoticed -- the deceased
vote.
Deceased persons are a reliable voting block for the Democratic party,
turning out in huge numbers in 2000, 2004 and 2006. The 2008
presidential nomination will likely go to the Democrat who can reliably win
the deceased vote in each primary.
According to an analysis of the primary votes in New Hampshire and
Nevada, Spolitics has learned that Senator Hillary Clinton managed to earn
78% of the deceased vote, helping her capture wins in those two states.
According to Sean Penn, a senior political strategist, deceased voters
gravitated toward Clinton because they viewed her as the candidate that
was most like them.
"Dead people have been one of the most important voting blocks for the
Democrats for years," said Penn. "Usually, wherever there is a close
election, it was the deceased vote that tipped it in our favor. Hillary's
ability to turn out the deceased vote will make her a tough candidate to
beat."
The Obama campaign was quick to agree. "Dead voters are not
independent thinkers," said one Obama aide. "They're followers and that's
not our constituency."
On a related subject, Spolitics also discovered that John Edwards was the
clear favorite of another key demographic for the Democrats, the prison
vote. Prisoners voted for Edwards by a margin of over nine to one, with
the balance of the votes going to Clinton.
“John Edwards has that special something that appeals to inmates,” said
one senior strategist who asked not to be named. “He receives a lot of
mail from prisons, most of which include marriage proposals.”
But, while Edwards is the clear favorite amongst prisoners, it has not been
enough to tip a primary in his favor. Should he decided to drop out,
experts agree that his prison vote would go to Hillary, making her a virtual
lock for the nomination.
By William Satire
NEVADA - While most of the recent attention in the race for the
Democratic presidential nomination has focused on racial divisions, with
Senator Obama earning the black vote and Clinton capturing the Latino
vote, another key demographic has gone largely unnoticed -- the deceased
vote.
Deceased persons are a reliable voting block for the Democratic party,
turning out in huge numbers in 2000, 2004 and 2006. The 2008
presidential nomination will likely go to the Democrat who can reliably win
the deceased vote in each primary.
According to an analysis of the primary votes in New Hampshire and
Nevada, Spolitics has learned that Senator Hillary Clinton managed to earn
78% of the deceased vote, helping her capture wins in those two states.
According to Sean Penn, a senior political strategist, deceased voters
gravitated toward Clinton because they viewed her as the candidate that
was most like them.
"Dead people have been one of the most important voting blocks for the
Democrats for years," said Penn. "Usually, wherever there is a close
election, it was the deceased vote that tipped it in our favor. Hillary's
ability to turn out the deceased vote will make her a tough candidate to
beat."
The Obama campaign was quick to agree. "Dead voters are not
independent thinkers," said one Obama aide. "They're followers and that's
not our constituency."
On a related subject, Spolitics also discovered that John Edwards was the
clear favorite of another key demographic for the Democrats, the prison
vote. Prisoners voted for Edwards by a margin of over nine to one, with
the balance of the votes going to Clinton.
“John Edwards has that special something that appeals to inmates,” said
one senior strategist who asked not to be named. “He receives a lot of
mail from prisons, most of which include marriage proposals.”
But, while Edwards is the clear favorite amongst prisoners, it has not been
enough to tip a primary in his favor. Should he decided to drop out,
experts agree that his prison vote would go to Hillary, making her a virtual
lock for the nomination.
